A few random snippets of conversation from our house

Critter: Mom, I had a squishy orange in my backpack from lunch

Bride: did you eat it?

Critter: No, I tried to blow it up.

Bride: Oh, were you successful?

Critter: No. I used the bike pump and the air just hisses out.

I think I teared up a bit. Those are my genes showing through right there.  But still. Probably time to hide the lighter fluid.

...

Bride: Have you seen my shoes? I need to go poop.

Me: I do not live in a world where I can make those two things relate to one another.

...

Bride: I just caught your four year old son endlessly singing the theme to New Girl. He knows all the words.

Me: In his defense: that Zooey Deschanel is way hotter than her sister Emily.